Ceramics

I have a little secret. I wish to work with ceramics. Every time I want to tell someone about pottery, I can’t help but have a stupid grin on my face and then nervously talk about something else instead. So I wouldn’t be surprised if this fact sounds out of the blue.

Yes, I do think it’s one of my impulses as a 30-year-old person. I’ve been known to start and end things, not unlike my past businesses and hobbies. But listen to my proposition. I am arguably a craftsman by nature. I draw, I design and I once made a sculpture of a video-game character. The following is proof.

It is not an artisan product but it shows enough that this is not merely an impulse. I have an innate urge to create. I once described to a friend how I envision my ideal future, what I think I’ll be doing when I’m my happiest: I will be next to the ocean, in the shades above greens, my family close and I’m creating. My friend asked, “What are you creating?”. “Anything”, I answered. Sounds like a lump of try-hard bullcrap.

If I’m so much of a creator, then why did I choose to do tech? Well, my friend — by that, I mean myself trying to justify to myself —, the answer is simple. Because I still get to create. I create graphics, websites and applications. As if that isn’t enough, I also did photo and videography in the past. And when my audiovisual brain takes its break, I write.

I like beautiful things. Even when I didn’t have the resources, as a kid, I would spend hours building houses using the infinite amount of Simoleons I’ve obtained through the “motherlode” cheat. I would choose my online game character, not based on their powers but on how cool they look. I would go OCD, skipping meals to tend my virtual farm.

To the annoyance of my family and colleagues, I would still skip meals and any social interaction when I’m in my “create mode”. Whether it’s in front of my computer or … in front of my computer, my level of what Mihaly calls the state of “flow” would be at its peak. As much as I look deprived of life, I’m happy.

Hence I only feel it’s natural for me to eventually dab with ceramics. So what, just go play with my clay already? Not easy. I don’t have the tools nor the skills to start. I don’t know any place in the country where I can get a lesson. And what if it’s nothing more than a phase. Another thing I will never do again.

What if it’s not. The answer is simple of course, “do something”.