Of Offense and Relevance
There are many words out there we hear from and say to other people. We do it to be relevant to other people. And when we cannot be on the same page, we take offense from other people.
Black and white. We draw the line. You choose your side. It goes by names. Childishness. Ignorance. Stubbornness. Material, belonging. And the glue, ego.
Okay, I don’t know what makes a prose. Or more accurately, I’m not bothered to search online for what makes a prose. Not now at least. But I digress – I googled this word (digress) instead and find it fitting here, a paragraph of no meaning, throat clearing as my friend puts it.
Ehem. I cannot find a person I truly hate. Okay, outside of flat-earthers and Trump at this point but who doesn’t. What I’m saying is I cannot think of someone who I wouldn’t help extinguish if they were on fire*. But there are times when I would say something bad about a person for no reason. No reason I can think of except to feel the same way as others or to make others feel the same way as me. To be relevant, to have a sense of belonging among others.
* A joke. It goes something like this:- Person A asks, “Do you hate me”. Person B replies, “I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it”
To put it simply. I’ve insulted other people. Which makes me feel guilty of being a hypocrite when I really just want to be friends with everyone. Sure I get frustrated by other people but it doesn’t warrant me to be mean to them. As with everything in life. There’s always more than just two sides to a story. But everyone thinks their version is the truest.
Another case of the single pane view. Being offended by the little information one have of the multi-faceted story. It’s easier to be offended and blame everything than to take responsibility and take action. The good thing.
Being good is hard. It’s uncool. You often finish last. You’ll cry by yourself saying “it’s okay, they don’t know”. Yes, this is deep and has multiple meaning. Anything more than a small talk is deep. And beyond small talk is true relevance.
We find relevance in the things that are of least offense. That is, being good in general. But even among good, there are jealousy. And life is filled with all its siblings.
So perhaps being good means, doing good for yourself, in all the anti-evil of the world. Being good is acknowledging your feelings. And being true to yourself first and foremost. Relevance and offense can be good and bad.
We should be offended by the bad things, and it’s not always good to seek relevance in everything. It’s 2019 and thank you captain obvious. My point is, there’s many side to a story and a person. And the good thing isn’t always the easiest, most obvious and attractive to do.
It’s important to reflect and not punish yourself for doing the wrong things. Be kind to yourself and others. Good guys finish last. But hey, look backwards. You get the good view all for yourself, and that’s the best part.